Bastard Preacher

Tyler Texas, Summer 1988, Lone Star Drive-in Theater

Cheryl yanked his hand off her breast, pushed out of his grasp and slid against the passenger door of his twenty-year-old Pontiac.

“Dammit, Jamie Lee. I’m not going to screw you. I came here to watch a movie.”

Jamie Lee posed that hangdog look, for which he’d became so well known when he didn’t get his way. “C’mon Cherrie, you know you’d really enjoy it.”

“I might, but despite your colored reputation, I didn’t think you’d try to seduce me within an hour of our first date.”

His jaw tensed and his lips tightened. “Just how many dates would it take to get into them bright red panties?”

She looked down. Shaking her head, she pulled the hem of her short skirt down. “I don’t know. There’s no set time. Maybe a couple of months.”

His eyes bored into her. “A couple months!” His hand struck the dashboard. “Fuck that! Cherrie, you eva hear that saying about the hereafta.”

Cheryl’s brow furrowed as she narrowed her blue eyes. “No, I can’t say I have.”

“It goes like this. If you’re not hereafta what I’m hereafta, you’re gonna still be hereafta I’m long gone.” Jamie Lee snarled, “I’m going to the snack bar for sodas and popcorn then to the restroom to get a rubber. When I come back I wanna see your lacy red panties and bra draped around the car’s shift knob or not only will this be our first date, it’ll be our last date.” Spittle flew from his mouth. “Now here’s the good part. If we do it, everything will be cool. Everyone will suspect we did it, but no one will know for sure, ’cause I won’t say anything. However, if you don’t, they won’t have to suspect because I’ll tell everyone you are one hot fuck.”

As Cheryl cast a hateful stare, she spoke through gritted teeth. “You asshole.”

He opened the door. His jaw slackened while his lips curled into a malicious grin. “That’s right sweetheart.” After getting out then shutting the door, he leaned in and laughed. “But I gotta tell ya. They usually call me a son-of-a-bitch.” He pulled away still laughing and slapped the roof of the car before heading toward the refreshment center.

Ten minutes later, a condom safely ensconced in the change pocket of his jeans and carrying a large container of popcorn and two drinks, he noticed the interior light on. He picked up his pace. A few feet from the car, he saw the passenger door standing wide open. “What the fu…” The bitch wasn’t there. He rushed to the door and found a handwritten note on the console by the shift knob. He set the cardboard tray on the passenger seat and snatched the note.

You’re right. You’re not an asshole. Son-of-a-bitch either. You’re worse. You’re a cocksucker. Go ahead and tell everyone what a hot fuck I am. I’ll be the most popular girl on the campus, but while you’re telling them what a great fuck I am, I’ll be telling them what a bum fuck you are.

She signed the note with a happy face.

Jamie Lee crumbled and tossed the note inside, then thrust the open door, shut. He seldom had anyone say no to him. He didn’t like it. Jamie Lee kicked the rear quarter panel. She can’t be far away. I’ll catch her and then we’ll see who sucks cocks. He booted the tire, dashed to the driver’s side, jumped in, started the engine, and drove off. The car wobbled as the steering wheel pulled left.

After driving a hundred feet, he stopped and jumped out. “Yiiaaeeee!” he screamed. Fucking flat tire. He reached in, took the refreshment tray, then flung it as far he could throw. He lurched around the car cussing and kicking it. Finally, he settled down, opened the trunk to retrieve the spare.

Jamie Lee, you know better than that. Things work out much better when you talk someone into something rather than demanding it.

Installing the spare tire, he resolved never to lose his temper in front of someone he wanted. It worked much better to use those innate charms of his to achieve his goals.