Cow Pie Bingo

“Come on, Evan,” needled Karen, “it’s for a good cause.”

Evan grumbled. He did not want to do this. Shit. “What, exactly, will I have to do if – and it’s a big if – I agree to do this?”

Karen looked gleeful, as if he’d already decided to do it for her. “Well, like I said, it’s a kissing booth. All you have to do is stand there in your booth and when a pretty girl walks up with tickets, you take them from her and give her a kiss.”

“Oh, I see,” replied Evan, “you’re only selling tickets to pretty girls.” He rolled his eyes and sighed.

Now she looked as desperate as the New England Patriots in the final minutes of Super Bowl XLII. “Oh, Evan – please? Of course they won’t all be pretty, but it’s just a little kiss – a peck even.”

“How long do I have to be there?” he asked.

“‘Do I’? You said ‘do I’, not ‘would I’ … only one hour Evan, you man the booth for one hour from two o’clock until three. There’ll be three booths and the ladies can get in whichever line they want. So you’ll do it?”

Evan groaned. “You said the event is tomorrow. Why the last minute notice?”

“Grant Myer was going to do it but he caught a bad cold so now he can’t. He did it last year for that library fundraiser and said it was fun. He lined up several dates from it in fact.” She wiggled her eyebrows at him. “He was actually looking forward to doing it again.”

What could he say? She was a terrific administrative assistant and always, always went the extra mile for him. He was single … well divorced anyway. He just plain didn’t have a good excuse to say no, and she was right – it was for a good cause.

“Okay,” Evan sighed. “I’ll be there.”

She squealed like a stuck pig. “Oh, thank you so much Evan. I promise you, you won’t regret it. It’ll be good for you anyway. You’ve been single for two years now and you never go out on dates.”

Yeah, well there was a reason for that. He’d tried dating again after the divorce, but he just couldn’t seem to work up any feelings of attraction towards any of his dates. Not even the really nice-looking ones. He’d tried to put it down to being disillusioned by his bad marriage, but when he’d found himself eyeing the men when he was out jogging in Kramden Park and not even taking a second glance at the women, then he had to consider the possibility that he was gay.

Possibility – right. It was past time he at least admitted it to himself. He was gay. He just couldn’t understand how a man could get to the age of thirty two without figuring something like that out, and he had no idea what to do about it.