Shine A Light

...Several of the volunteers at the meeting already had bits of the sets constructed, and we passed snapshots around the table. I was impressed with the relaxed, yet businesslike atmosphere everyone created. Bob handed out the latest revised script and told us to report for the first rehearsal Wednesday at seven o’clock. In the morning.

I groaned inwardly at the early hour. I’d hoped life in the country would allow me the luxury of sleeping later every day. As the meeting adjourned, Phil motioned for Bob, Shane, and me to stay in our seats.

We had a short chat, and I reassured them my accommodations were more than acceptable. I also gave them the heads-up on the press release. They’d seen it and didn’t seem concerned about the paparazzi landing in quiet St. Charles. I didn’t share their attitude, but silenced my fears. They were right. Ultimately, we had little control if mayhem ensued. Our business concluded, I told them they’d see me Wednesday and excused myself. When I stepped out of the men’s room, Shane waited for me.

His drawn, pale face and the dark smudges under his eyes made me pause.

“You look like hell.”

“I feel like hell. I don’t know how to make things right with you if you won’t believe me.”

“I believe you, Shane. You said you didn’t know he was coming here. Well, okay, people surprise us. I know that. But he is here, and you are involved with him, and I can’t afford the distraction.”

That wasn’t what I wanted to say to him. It wasn’t even close. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him to send Doug packing. I needed him to prove to me he wasn’t planning to fuck me and any other guy at the same time. But one night with him didn’t give me the right.

He nodded, his eyes sad. “I don’t know what else to say except I’m sorry, Van.”

The ice around my heart cracked. I managed a smile for him. “I’m sorry, too.”

Shane reached out and smoothed the lapel of my jacket, although it didn’t need it. This might be as close as I ever got to him again. God help me, but I couldn’t walk away without touching him one more time. I grasped his hips and pulled him, unresisting, to me.

His arms snaked up around my neck, holding me with his fierce, young strength. We pressed together, chest-to-chest and thigh-to-thigh. I breathed in his scent and kissed his hair, committing the feel of him to memory, then I gently pulled away.

“I’m flying back to the city tomorrow, then driving my own car back on Tuesday. I’ll put the key under the mat and leave your car at the cabin since you have your keyless entry.”

His hands came to rest on my shoulders. “How are you getting to the airport?”

“I cut a deal with a kid who works at the resort. He’s agreed to be my go-fer when I need one, provided he’s off-shift.”

Shane accepted that, nodding, his gaze somewhere past me. I was poignantly reminded of his youth. Would he listen to my advice?

“Shane, if you have any doubts about Doug, do yourself and him a favor, and end it. I didn’t do that with Lynn and I paid a high price for it.”

“It’s not like that, man! I told you. I don’t sleep with him any more. That’s in the past. We’re just friends now.”

“Lots of things are in the past,” I told him as gently as I could. It was all over him that he wanted to argue with me, but his shoulders slumped, and his eyes had a vacant look to them. It took every ounce of willpower I possessed not to touch him again.

“Shane, what’s really wrong?”

“Nothing. You don’t want anything to do with me. Well, okay, I’ll get over it.” With that, he turned and walked away, his long strides quickly putting a lot of distance between us.

I watched him go with a sinking feeling in my gut. I’d bungled that, and badly. Maybe in a few days I could approach him and offer an olive branch. I’d like to be his friend if he could handle it, but I wasn’t sure he could. I wished it didn’t, but it hurt to let him go...