Tormented Soul

Chapter 1

British Airways flight 112 to New York will be boarding through gate sixty-five momentarily.
Lynn quietly reached down and picked up her flight bag. She looked at the boarding pass in her hand. Funny that she didnt feel like she was going home, but more like she was leaving home. This last trip was so different from all the others and had taken an emotional toll on her. Perhaps an uneventful stay at her fathers would be just what she needed before returning to finish her photo shoot.
Erick McAlister reached out and adjusted the strap on her shoulder. He glanced toward the gate Lynn would be going through and noticed a young couple saying their good-byes. They softly spoke in between tender kisses, holding each other in a tight embrace. His black heart thudded in his chest, he wondered if that would ever be him. If he was capable of loving, or being loved.
His best friend, Andrew, had been a tormented soul like himself, and against odds found love and happiness with his sister, Elizabeth. Erick thought back to a time when he tasted the sweetness of comfort and contentment. Andrew had been determined to pay Elizabeth and Lynn a surprise visit at Hampton House and convinced him and his brother Michael to join him.
Through Ericks life Lynn Westmore was the only woman to affect him like she did, and he didnt like it. That particular night, he drank himself to oblivion to avoid his uneasy feelings. Unknown to him, his sister had put her best friend in his room during her stay. After retiring in a drunken state to his old bed, he woke in the morning with Lynn in his arms. She had become a first of sorts. The first woman to sleep with him in his bed at Hampton House, the first to wake with him in the morning, and the first woman to share a bed and not be ravished. As tempting his lustful desires were that morning, he enjoyed the quiet conversation and her presence more than any sexual conquest. With Lynn he found a small piece of serenity hed only dreamed of.
Well, its almost time, Lynns voice brought him back to the present. Ive been gone from the states so long; I hope I havent forgotten where I live.
Well if you cant find it, Erick smiled at her, you know you are always welcome at Hampton House. When did you say you will you be back?
Some time in the spring, depends on the weather. I have a couple of locations I need to go back to. These books on English gardens are scheduled to go to press during the summer, so I have a time factor to work with. She tilted her auburn head, her brown eyes sparkled, her smile teased. Are you going to miss me?
Yes I will.
Lynn put her arms around his waist to give him a hug before she boarded. She felt his arms tighten around her and wondered what it would be like to be loved by him. He was a man with worldly knowledge of women, a man capable of incredible passion. A man with such sexual prowess and confidence would never find satisfaction in someone with her lack of experience. She knew she could never compete with the beautiful women he surrounded himself with; he was just out of her league.
Erick wanted the moment to last forever. He felt faint stirrings in his black heart. He refused to get involved with her because he couldnt bear to hurt her. He had broken hearts and strained some marriages. Women sometimes even said that they had discovered something about themselves after being with him. Over the years his reputation grew as a lover, a prince of seduction and passion. To him, women couldnt be trusted and were nothing but a sport.
Lynn was too good of a person to be played with. He trusted her and her friendship. He ran his hand up her back, along her neck and cupped her face. He looked deep into her eyes.
Sweet Lynn, his voice was a husky whisper. These last few months have probably been the best as well as my worst. You have heard my secrets and you know of the monster that lives inside me yet youve been a good friend to me. I want you to know I trust you as I would trust my own sister. Thank you.
He caressed her check with his thumb. Her lips were so inviting. He remembered the shock he felt when he kissed her on New Years Eve. Only a few days had passed and he still felt their heat. He dipped his head and brushed his lips across hers.
Good bye, Lynn. He pulled away from her; have a good flight.
It took everything Lynn had to remain on her feet. On the inside, she shook head to toe, from his touch and his kiss. Looking into his green eyes, she saw sadness. He ran his fingers through his sandy blonde hair, then flashed her a smile. He was a master at hiding his feelings. She smiled as she bade him farewell then turned toward her boarding gate.
What a lousy way to start the year. All alone. His best friend had married his sister over the holidays and they were honeymooning in the American Southwest. Lynn was gone. His father and brother would be leaving in a few days. He hadnt been alone in years. Perhaps he should visit the Underground Clubs as soon as he returned to London and find someone to warm the cold winter nights. For some reason, the thought didnt sound very appealing at the moment, but would surely change by the time he dressed in his favorite leathers and disappeared into the London night.
He walked into the large room in his sisters house she called the den. His father and his brother, Michael, were watching television. His father greeted him with excitement.
Look what arrived for Elizabeth and Andrew today, he stood in front of a beautiful wooden globe. He opened it to revel a secret liqueur cabinet inside.
I ordered it along with specialty liqueurs from Scotland.
Very nice, Erick examined it and held up a bottle. May I sample some of the Scotch?
Certainly, its from the Isle of Sky. Very smooth, I think youll like it.
Erick took a glass from his father, downed it quickly then held the glass out for more. His father scowled at him as he poured more of the golden liquid into his waiting glass. Without a word Erick turned and went to the stairs toward his room. He had left instructions with Millie to move his things from the room where he had been staying, back into his and to not bother cleaning it after Lynn left. The old maid never questioned him, just shrugged her shoulders and followed the request.
He walked into his room, pulled off his sweatshirt and lay face down on his bed, still holding the Scotch. He closed his eyes and could smell Lynn in his bed, in his room. She haunted him. Was he out of his mind? Why would he torture himself with thoughts of a woman who he could never have? Surely, she would never want a man who had been with so many women and done the things he had.
Erick, his father tapped on the door as he walked in. Everything all right?
Fine.
Can we talk a bit?
Whatever. He wasnt in the mood, but his father would be leaving soon and thought it best to humor him.
Im a little concerned about you.
Erick didnt say anything, just pulled himself up and faced his father. Sitting with his elbows on his knees, he balanced his drink and prepared for the lecture he knew was coming.
Now, with your sister and Andrew married and Michael and I leaving, you are going to have more time alone. I hope you dont plan on continuing this lifestyle youve been leading. You should focus on your career and move in the right circles. Maybe look for a wife.
Whats wrong with my lifestyle? He sent his father a wicked grin, I stay very focused on the company and I certainly dont suffer from lack of companionship.
Thats just it! Youre always in the tabloids with an actress on your arm, then a model, then some scary creature from the Underground.
I guess I like a variety.
Erick, one of these days you could put yourself in a position to jeopardize this company. Youve got to be more careful, he groaned. What happened to you, son?
Well, lets see, his voice was low but full of sarcasm, I, ahvolunteered to be a gigolo for several months to help a friend! I learned not to feel.
Benjamin McAlister let out a long sigh and shook his head at his youngest son in frustration.
I admit, when I found out what you did in Italy I was shocked. What father wouldnt be? I never would have imagined that you had gone through such hell in your young life. You showed what it takes to be a real man, standing up and protecting your friend. You have a special relationship with Andrew and Im sure he would have done the same for you. But it is in the past, and its time to move on.
A real man? Erick snorted, still not moving from his position on the bed. Does a real man use his body to play a dangerous game of seduction with women? Does a real man not give a damn about a womans emotions, except to drive her into sexual ecstasy? Does a real man look at every woman as a potential toy to be controlled?
You seemed to have curbed your appetite with Lynn around. You have a decent relationship with her unless, of course, youre sneaking around with her.
Erick laughed, Shes too good for me Father! Shes like a sister
Im not so sure. Ive seen the way you look at her.
Give me a break. Erick took a drink.
Do you think you could find the right woman to change your womanizing ways?
I dont know.
Do you think you could be faithful to one?
I dont know. Erick sighed and looked at his father. Ive created an evil part of myself and I have a hard time keeping it in check. I admit, Im tired of the game, but women come to me for one thing and I cant resist but to oblige. I seem to be numb to many basic emotions, he groaned. Am I sick?
No, son. His face was full of concern. Do you trust women at all?
In general, no.
Perhaps, you need to turn to one you can trust to help you change. What about Lynn? Its obvious you trust her, and after all she knows what you are.
Please, let it rest!
Well, perhaps if you took up a hobby of sorts. It may help you step back and look at your life.
A hobby? Are you kidding?
No. It might be good for you. You have your puppy, Penny. Shell teach you about caring for others in a hurry. Now tell me what do you like to do when youre not working or with women.
I used to hang around Andrews studio and paint. He threw a sideways glance at the older man.
There you go, his father choked, obviously trying to suppress the surprise of his son being a painter. Perhaps you should talk to Andrew about how to put your emotions on canvas like he does. It seems to work for him.
O.K. So I should get a hobby to redirect my extra curricular energy. Any more advice? He knew he sounded sarcastic.
Since you asked, his father stiffened his shoulders. I think you should get rid of that flat in Soho, move into a more respectable area. Quit using public transportation. And get a hair cut.
Fine, Erick laughed, I think the haircut may be just the right thing.
Erick, Im just trying to give you some fatherly advice.
I know, Im sorry.
I am very proud of you son, he said from the doorway, I hope you know that.
I do.
A flash of black and white jumped on his bed. Michael brought Penny to his room for the night. His pup, Ariel, stood next to his side in the door. His father bade his sons goodnight and excused himself to his room.
So what did Dad want?
Just to give some advice. Since when did you start calling him Dad?
Since he started acting like one. Give him a break, will you. So what did he say?
I should get a hobby, a new place to live, quit using the subway and a haircut. Please, dont you start in on me, too!
That sounds more like something Mother would have said! Michael leaned on the doorframe. I must agree though but I think the haircut is optional.
Thanks, Erick leaned against the headboard of his bed and took a sip of Scotch.
Are you going back to London right away? His brother came into the room and plopped on the corner of the big bed.
No, I think Ill stay here for a few days. I might even hang around in Elizabeths studio.
I bet its going to be weird for you, being all alone. Especially since your favorite playmate went off and got hitched. Im sure his life is going to calm down. Perhaps yours should too.
Youre sounding like the old man now.
Erick watched his brother shake his head as he rubbed his temple. Something seemed to be on his mind. He suddenly realized how much he had missed his big brother during their separation. Erick had chosen to live in London while Michael returned to New York. When they shared the Soho flat and had wonderful adventures with Andrew, times where good! Now they were definitely adults, and his father was right, it was time to start taking on more responsibility for his life.
Im going to miss you, Michael. He admitted softly.
Back at ya, bro, navy eyes lit up as he flashed a smile, but then his face went dark. Erick, Ive been thinking a lot lately. I want you to know that I hated leaving you after I finished school. I didnt want to go back to New York, but our father had his master plan that had to be followed. I knew what was going on in London and then in Italy. It just about killed me, not being able to help.
Youve never said anything to me all these years, Erick offered his brother his Scotch. I was afraid to even ask. Are you all right now that it is in the open?
Yes, Michael took a drink, I would have done the same. Youre my brother and Andrew is just like one. I felt as if I abandoned both of you.
Weve never felt that way. After all, it was you who got the ball rolling to put Olivia Liocanno behind bars permanently.
Thanks. Ill never stay away again if you need me. I promise, Ill catch the first available flight across the pond to get to you.
I know you will. But I think I will have to make some changes myself.
I think you could count on Lynn to help, Michael teased.
Not again! Erick took his drink back; Im getting tired of you insinuating there is something between Lynn and me.
All right, Ill stop, Michael held up his hands in surrender. I wont interfere.
Yeah, right.