Totally Decked

Chapter 1

Fred Miller hummed along with Johnny Mathis as he crooned Silent Night on the Christmas CD. The twinkle lights she had oh-so-carefully put away last January lay hopelessly tangled in a mass at her feet. "Darn it anyway," Fred groused as she attempted for the fourth time to untangle the knotted lights.

Loud squawks and several cuss words came from the back room. Fred sighed. "Kitty, that is exactly why you were kicked out of the science atrium! You need to turn over a new leaf, or it's Bye-Bye Birdie for you."

She looked at the knotted cord in her hands and yelled, "Hey Kitty, you don't happen to know how to untangle electric cords, do you?"

The silence from the back room made Fred uneasy. "Kitty, are you there?"

Nothing.

"Kitty?"

Fred had a split second to duck before three hefty pounds of feathers and loud mouth dive bombed her from overhead. "Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty, Heeeer Kitteeeee!"

Caught off-balance, Fred swung her arms in circles and teetered on her toes, trying not to step on the heap at her feet. She lifted one foot and aimed for a clear spot on the floor. She wrapped her toes around the twinkle lights, grabbed for the ladder and missed. She fell backward and landed hard on her butt, missing the lights, but sending decorations flying in all directions. The huge blow-up Saint Bernard in a Santa suit slipped off the top of the ladder.

Fred folded her arms across her chest and pouted as the giant cloth dog drifted gently toward the floor and settled over her, covering her head-to toe. Grumbling out loud, Fred tried to extricate herself from the billowing material. "Dumb bird, I don't know why I put up with you! It's bad enough you got expelled from school because of your potty mouth, but now I've been saddled with you until you're fit for polite company."

Fred swore the bird was standing by her toes, laughing at her. Kitty squawked. "Stick 'em up, you rat tailed varmint!" Fred growled and Kitty must have sensed he was in trouble because he cussed like a sailor and headed for higher ground.

Fred sighed. She tugged and pulled on the cloth dog until the last of the dog's tail slid forward over the top of her head. Static electricity made Fred's mink brown hair stand on end, while her bangs flopped forward to cover her huge blue eyes. She puffed air toward the offending bangs and was rewarded with a gentle lifting of the hair covering her eyes before it settled back, covering most of her face. She pushed back her hair again and tried to stand. "I ought to give you back to Ian so he can ship your sorry butt back to South America, you dumb bird!"

Kitty cocked his head and the crown of feathers atop his dome unfurled. He leveled one beady eye in her direction and danced from foot to foot. "Dumb Bird. Pretty Bird. Pretty Dumb Bird. Kitty, Kitty, Kitty. Heh-heh-heh-heh! Ah, go away kid, ya bother me!"

Fred scowled at Kitty. "Now that line didn't do you any favors with the room mothers either, you crazy bird." She had to laugh as the cockatoo hopped up and down on the Saint Bernard, mimicking movie stars of days gone by. Kitty must have sensed forgiveness because he hopped into Fred's lap and tucked his head under her chin. Fred tried once again to blow the bangs out of her eyes. She gave up and stroked the big bird, eyes half closed, smiling as Kitty babbled nonsense, and Johnny Mathis continued to croon softly in the background.

This is the sight that greeted Mark Malone when he pushed open the door to Miller's Menagerie that mid November morning. You could have knocked him over with a feather.